#tbt Regrets on a Friday

Baby Ballerinas
2005

Hold the phone! This post has nothing to do with being a Mama or a tutorial! Almost.

If you have any access to social media, most likely you know what #tbt means. Normally, it causes giggles, maybe some blushing, and sweet memories. But lately, it has caused a little bit of another feeling for me: regret.

I have always been a little shy, a little introverted, and a little socially awkward. Teaching is a strange profession for someone with those qualities, but I feel like I have become a stronger person from it. Definitely still room to grow. 

Dance was a passion of mine from a very young age. All the shyness melted away when I preformed. When I was in 8th grade, I saw a group of beautiful dancers at a college in Alabama. It became my dream to be a part of the group. I busted my butt to do well in school, get accepted to college, and make that dream a reality. And I did it!

Life has a funny way of changing "your plans." I couldn't wait to graduate and leave my small town in the dust. I was going to go away and have the time of my life at college. 

Here is where the regret comes in. I did none of that. I got to preform with those beautiful girls for two great seasons. But I did not take full advantage of the experiences and friendships that were right in front of me. Instead, I spent my time making excuses and justifying that it was OK. I went to classes, practices, and other obligations. But I skipped out on the fun. I had so many opportunities to make stronger relationships, new relationships, memories, and reach bigger goals that I had ambitiously set. 

I don't have tons of pictures from mixers, parties, or trips with friends. I did not try out for additional performance groups. I didn't make many new friends. Seeing throwback photos from friends are reminders of that. I am sure some people knew why or at least had a pretty good idea about why I acted that way. Some probably just thought I was stuck up and/or a hermit. That is what hurts the most. I didn't get to know them and they didn't get to know the real me.

It is not important as to what or who caused me to make the choices I made. It happened. I can't change the past. All decisions and choices have lead me to where I am today. And I know if things had been different, I would not be in the place I am now. But I did learn a very important lesson.

Here is where the Mama comes in. I want to make sure that Haddie knows not to make the same mistakes. No one or nothing should stand in the way of her goals and dreams. I know that in many, many, many, many moons from now, she will roll her eyes and huff like all girls do when Mom gives advice. But I am gonna say it again and again. Don't let someone else stand in the way of what and who you want to be. That goes for anyone.

I don't want to dwell on the past. And I am making no plans to go crazy and sow my wild oats at almost 30. But it does feel good to get my feelings out and on "paper." I can't wait for football season to start and get the chance to see the newest generation of Southerners and Ballerinas. I am thankful that I got to be a part of such a great organization!

Band Camp
JSU 2005

Let's Get Real: Naptime Confessions

I am not built to be a full-time stay-at-home mom. There. I said it.

Let me stop right here and say what sounds real cliche: I love my life. But honestly, I do! I am more than blessed with a home, a job, friends and family, and most of all, a happy and healthy little girl. But that doesn't mean that I don't get overwhelmed. I am still human.

I know that there are several reasons women become stay-at-home moms: finances, health reasons, more time with kids, etc. No matter what the reason, I am not here to down it. Go, girl.

God knew what he was doing when he chose my profession. I get the best of both worlds! I get an income and a job for a majority of the year with family-friendly hours and some extra time off for holidays. And then I get a few months at home for the summer. And that is exactly what I can handle.

This toddler stage is a toughie. Every thing is "no." Every thing is a game of you gotta catch me first. Every bad choice is done with that sly smile meaning, "what you gonna do about it." Honestly, it is exhausting. Some days I live for nap time. And then bed time. Figuring out how to discipline is equally as tough. With so many influences from a million different sources, you begin to second guess your fifth guesses. Some days getting out of the house is more trouble than it is worth. And the loads of laundry only containing pajamas are proof of that.

Don't get me wrong. We have fun. But it isn't all picnics, trips to the zoo, bubbles and happiness. We have had tantrums, spills, and boo boos. From both parties.

I do take Haddie to daycare one day a week. I want her to stay somewhat in the groove with school. Plus, I love that she gets to see her friends and and have some social interaction of the toddler kind. And she loves it too. She walks in and slams the door in my face behind her. But having a built in "free" day a week isn't always so relaxing. Lots of tasks and errands get thrown to this day. Soon, my "relaxing, baby free" day becomes a day of running around trying to cram it all in before time to pick her up.

Let's get real though. The grass is always greener. No matter what your situation, things could always be better or worse in some aspect. I guess I just needed a therapy session to get it all out. I have a lot to be thankful for.

For those full-time SAHMs (or Dads!), my hat is off to you! Every one has his/her calling. I am thankful to have my Summer to spend with Haddie, but I may or may not get a little sigh of relief to see those school supplies back on the shelf at the ole Walmart!

Alright, friends. Therapy session over. I need to focus on Food Network and eat my carton of ice cream before nap time is over and sidewalk chalk, snack, and snuggles begin! I will leave you with a small photo dump of our Summer and a quote that I tell my self daily.....

"The days are long, but the years are short" - Gretchen Rubin

 

DIY Oversized Ruler Growth Chart

First, let's start with a quick update. Haddie is rotten. Nothing new. She continues to grow, learn, and amaze me each day. The saying that "the days are long, but the years go quick, " could not be more true. Life is good lately. Summer is here. New relationships help the heart and the sanity. A fellow named Chris is responsible for that. And we can't forget Haddie's new best friend, Bristol, the golden retriever. I see a happy future in the works!

Alright. You know I love a great DIY! I love it even more when it's been forgotten on the to-do list and someone makes it happen. I had mentioned while cruising around Pinterest that I loved this project, and Chris took note. Haddie (and Chris) got me a board for Mother's Day. :)

I love the idea of this growth chart. It is charming enough for a kid's room, but sophisticated enough to display in the living area of the house. (Which is were mine is located). Plus, it is portable! We will not be living in our current location within a few years, and I don't want to lose those growth markings that would typically be on the door frame. And if you are stationed in your home permanently, then no worries about painting over during touch up or a remodel.

Before I got started, I chose a design and style that I liked. Some go for what looks like an actual giant ruler and some use colorful paint and decals to decorate the board. You can find many variations on Pinterest. I combined several components that I liked and created my own. I knew I wanted a rustic/distressed look, but I wanted a white surface instead of stained wood for better visibility on the markings. You will also need to decide how to number the measurement markings. Some different ideas include paint (my choice), vinyl, mailbox numbers, etc.

Based on my design plan, my supply list included:
a board (1″x8″x6′)
dark walnut wood stain
white paint
a multi-grit sandpaper pack
paint for measurement marks and numbers
number stencils
various sized paint brushes

I am the world's step by step picture taker, but the process is pretty easy. First, sand the board to make sure it is nice and smooth. I made sure all of the dust was blown away and stained the board using an old burp cloth by following the direction on the stain can. I did two coats because I wanted the rich color to come through for the distressed look. I let it dry overnight.

Next, I did one coat of white paint. I covered the entire board, but I didn't obsess over brush marks and complete coverage because I was going for a worn look. Because of the blistering heat and a single layer, the paint was drying fairly quickly. I decided to keep working. Using sandpaper, I began distressing the board. I focused on the edges and sides. Going with grain, I also chose a few interior places on the board. I went back and forth between sandpaper grit numbers. I sanded just enough so that the layer of paint was coming off and the stain could peek through. I think it is a good idea to work a little and then step back, so that you don't get too carried away.

Next, I made my measurement marks by laying the measuring tape down beside the edge of the board and placing a pencil mark for each inch. I used different sized marks for the inch, 6 inch and 12 inch measurements. Don't forget to leave off some room for the bottom. I began marking off my board at 9 inches because I wanted my board to have an 8 inch clearance from the floor. After all the pencil marks were made, I went back over the pencil with a dark brown paint. Once again, I wasn't going for perfection.

Next, I chose and downloaded a free font from DaFont. I created a word document and entered numbers one through six. I increased the size until my numbers were about six inches tall. Then I printed the document and cut out the numbers to make stencils. I like to think that may spatial awareness skills are pretty good, so I just eyeballed the placement of the numbers on the board. After some adjusting, I traced the numbers using pencil. Once the stencils were traced and removed, I painted in the numbers using the dark brown paint.

After the numbers were dry, I went back over board with sandpaper a few more times to give the measurement marks and numbers a worn look, as well. Then, I nailed a hanging bracket to the back and BOOM. I have yet to put any marks on the board. My plan is to measure her every six months. I am going to double check her measurements with the pediatrician at her next checkup before they are written in stone.

Not only are these great for your own home, but this would also be a great baby shower gift :) Thanks for stopping by!

Hooray for Bedtime. And I don't mean my own.

Hello, folks. It's been a minute. Or two. I am, in fact, still alive. I have started about twenty posts since the last one that made it to the blog, but I just haven't had the time, desire, or words to finish them. I think it may be good for me to actually complete one.

I never did a twelve month post for the Hadster. To be honest, I couldn't tell you her weight or height from her one year checkup now to save my life. I imagine it was written down on the little souvenir sticker you get at each visit, but Haddie probably ate it or something of that fashion.

Since we last caught up, Haddie has grown. Obviously. We celebrated a first birthday. Started walking. Moved up to the toddler room at school. Expanded the vocabulary to about ten words. Turned the car seat around. Gave up the bottle. Sprouted a total of twelve teeth. Kicked the high chair to curb. Had a stomach virus, RSV (again), and an endless snotty nose. Learned to give kisses and high fives. Developed quite the temper and attitude, that is evened out by the cutest little personality. Don't get me wrong it isn't always marshmallows and sunshine.

Being a mom is hard.

Being a single mom is harder.

I think it is fair to add a little "-er" to the end of that word. I am not taking away from the families who have a tag team. Raising a child is extremely exhausting and just as rewarding no matter what your situation is. But I think it is probably nice to call in backup at least once a day. I obviously didn't set out to be in this position, but I like to think that I find the best in all situations. Sometimes, I look back and wonder how I got this far and made it out with a smile. There were definitely tears and headaches. But when being strong is your only option, you just step up. Enough of the past. I'm moving forward. I've learned many lessons and see lots of brightness in my future. There are many changes going on in life lately. I'm pretty excited to see what is in store for Haddie and I.

Now for the explanation of the title of this post. Have I said that being a Mom is hard? Let me say that Haddie is, without a doubt, the greatest thing that has ever happened to me. No one could have prepared me for the love and connection that I would share with this little human. She has helped to make me the strong person that I am today. Taught me how to truly be selfless. Shown me what true love feels like. And also, made me appreciate her bed time.

I can only speak for myself, but after reading many other blogs, I think I am probably not alone. I am exhausted. After a day of tripping over toys, picking up four boxes worth of Cheerios off the floor that were dumped from the "spill-proof" snack cup, mopping the floor for the third time that day after half the lunch was thrown to the floor, reading the same book thirty times in a row, changing the poop diaper five minutes after it was freshly put on, squirting medicine into a screaming mouth hoping it gets swallowed, I would (and do) do it all over again every day just to get one of her snot covered kisses on the lips from out of nowhere.

I have read certain articles and posts that try to make me feel guilty for checking Facebook in her presence, feeding her french fries and chicken nuggets during our Walmart trip just to keep her quiet, not breastfeeding her until she is in middle school, vaccinating her so she won't contract illness and diseases, among other things. I have said before that I think moms in today's society are under constant attack. Sadly, it is mostly from each other. But I don't need them to make me feel guilty. I do enough of that myself.

I am not the mother I always thought I would be. In some ways for the best, and in some ways probably not for the better. I deal with that guilt every day. The biggest struggle I have is feeling guilty about feeling guilty. On those days where I just want to hide in the closet, I beat my self up about feeling that way in the first place. I have to tell my self that it is OK to feel that way. I am only human. At the end of the day, Haddie loves me and she knows that I love her. She waves at me each morning, kisses me during the day, and snuggles with me at bedtime. And I cherish that.

Motherhood is not a walk in the park. You will want to pull your hair out, cry, scream and hide in small dark places. A lot. But that will all be overshadowed by the love that you feel in one small moment. I am so beyond blessed to have Haddie. Even if I sometimes want to put her to bed a few minutes early.

If you are still here from my personal rambling therapy session, thanks for hanging in there. If you are a fellow mama, I hope that you can relate. It is nice to know that you aren't alone sometimes. I hope to visit the ole blog a little more frequently. Perhaps a first birthday post is in the future. We shall see. This little blog of mine has been around longer than any journal I ever had. I'm kind of attached. It has been there through my trials the past couple of years. It is strange to go back and see where I thought my life was, to read the ways I was sugar coating things, and how I was trying to put every thing out there without revealing too much once I accepted how things were.

Thanks for listening.

    

Cell Phones and Curse Words

If you are a friend on Facebook, you probably saw my post about my fabulous Saturday. My phone randomly stopped functioning at around 3 o'clock for about five hours. I lost my marbles complete with fits of rage and crying during this five hour window. I am slightly ashamed that I got so upset over this small rectangle of technology. I forget how dependent on it I am until it no longer functions. I will share with you the events of today because I need to vent and someone probably needs a laugh. Have one at my expense......

Let me do some background.

Part One: I moved in March. Instead of changing my address fifty bagilllion times, I thought it would be easier to fill out a forwarding address packet at the post office.

Part Two: Back in May, I (Haddie) dropped my phone. Twice. Without my Otter Box case. I refused to pay the insurance deductible at the time and just dealt with a cracked screen. A few weeks ago, I decided that I would bite the bullet and pay the $100 in order to get a new phone. I proceeded to file my claim online. When asked about the date of the incident, I answered honestly. In other words, I did the right thing. Well, that got me nowhere. Because it happened over sixty days ago, I could no longer file a claim. Fabulous. I guess it is a cracked phone for another year and a half.

Part Three: When trying to pay my phone bill over the phone Friday, I kept being rejected by the system. The billing zip code that I was entering was not matching. Keep in mind I moved back in March. Have made payments since then. Obviously. And, I have been receiving bills at my new address. I was transferred to someone who told me they have a completely different address in the system. Must be because I used the forwarding address packet? Regardless, he changed the address in the system. Problem solved. Right?

Can you tell this is shaping up to be fabulous?

Now, we come to this glorious Saturday. Ed was at the Verizon store using the upgrade on the account. We take turns using the upgrades. This time it was my number, but I got the last one. So, it was his turn. Yes, we still share an account. I’m just nice like that. At around 3, my phone lost the 4G signal. I figured it had to do with Ed and the upgrade. I didn’t think too much about it. After about 30 minutes, it was still not working. I was starting to get antsy. I needed to check Facebook and Instagram! Lol. I text Ed to ask him if whatever they were doing was supposed to be messing with my service. My text wouldn’t go through. I tried to send it a couple more times. I still had not gotten my 4G signal back. So, I tried turning my data off and back on. Switching from airplane mode. And restarting my phone. Nothing worked.

Then I tried to call Ed to see what was going on. It rang and then said I was being transferred to an external operator to place a collect call. What?! At this point, I decide it was time to call Verizon. Luckily, I could dial *611 and get in touch with some one.

Call #1: I explained that my estranged husband (Gosh, I hate that term!) was upgrading his phone on the account but using my phone line's upgrade. And then I explained what is going on. He told me to try restarting my phone. He said he was going to reset some things and it should work when I turned it back on. Hang up. Power off. Power on. Nope.

Call #2: I had to explain the situation again. He told me to try a soft reset. He also said that it would be easier if I had access to another phone line. That way I could troubleshoot and talk at the same time. But first, I should try the soft reset. I hung up and took off the battery. Waited a few minutes and turned it back on. Nope.

At this point, I was getting agitated. I packed up Haddie and headed to Christy's house to use her phone. No makeup. No hair-do. Pajamas. It didn't matter. I was just going to Christy's.

Call #3: I explained the situation. AGAIN. This time I am told that I need to do a factory reset. If that didn't work, then I have a warranty issue. I asked if a warranty would require a deductible. The answer was no. Sweet! She told me to back everything up using the Backup Assistant. No problem, except that I can't because I have no data service. I decided that if I got a new phone it would be worth a little hassle of retrieving contacts and music. Also, most of the pictures and video were on Facebook and Instagram. So, I was willing to try it. I reset it. Still didn't work. I decided to run to Verizon to get it taken care of. Guess I should have worn clothes and put on makeup....

I got to Verizon and started to explain what I had already been through. Before I could finish, the Verizon guy told me that my warranty is void because my screen is cracked. WHAT?! He said that I would have to file an insurance claim. I told him that I had tried already but was rejected because it was over 60 days. He said that was not the case and that I could definitely file the claim.

So, they sat me down in a corner and gave me the handset to call and get the claim started. For security, I was asked to verify my address. Can you guess where this is going? I told her my address. It didn't match what they have. I listed the last three addresses that I have lived at in the past ten years. None matched. She then told me that they have an address from Indianapolis listed. Um, no. She says that she will have to transfer me to Verizon and have them update my address. I thought I already had. Whatever. Once I am transferred, it is an automated system. The “machine” is wanting me to say my address. Well, that didn't work so well in the middle of a Verizon store while holding a 10 month old. “I'm sorry, I didn't get that. Try again. I'm sorry, I didn’t get that. Try again.” I slammed the phone down and marched up to the desk. I asked if I could do this from home. He said yes and cheerfully held the door for me on my way out. It didn’t help, sir.

At this point, Haddie has had no nap. No supper. And I desperately need to pump. I head to my Dad's house to use his computer and landline. I start with the insurance claim. Because I had previously tried to file, it keeps pulling up my first attempt. I cannot get anywhere online, so I looked up the phone number. Before I called, I logged on to Verizon to check the address they have and to change it so that I don’t run in to that problem again. Lo and behold, they have the correct address! But I did notice something off. They had listed Ed's new phone by his number, but they also listed the same phone by my number. That is not the phone I have. I shrugged it off and proceeded to call the insurance company.

Once again, I argued with them about my address. They finally put me on hold twice and then allowed me to proceed. I told him a quick version of the he-said, she-said run around I had already been given. He confirmed my worst fear. They will not allow a claim because the phone was cracked over 60 days. The Verizon guy was a fibber. I hang up.

At this point, I am in tears. I am standing by the pantry on the phone because Dad doesn’t have a cordless phone. Haddie is crawling up my legs because she is hungry. I resorted to throwing cheerios in the floor for her to eat while I call Verizon to give them a piece of my mind.

I called Verizon and explained my situation for the 10 quadrillionth time. I am transferred twice. In the process, I remembered seeing the wrong phone attached to my number and decided that is the last option of hope as to why my phone just decided to quit functioning. I told the guy what I saw and what I thought may have happened. He said he would change some things in the system and that I should try to restart my phone again.

PRAISE SWEET BABY JESUS! It worked. And guess what? I told them how to fix it! Does anyone see what is wrong there?

So basically, I spent my Saturday afternoon crying, cussing, and fighting with these people. Reset my phone. Lost everything. For nothing. Because the ding dong who sold Ed his new phone didn’t know what he was doing. And guess what else? I’m canceling that insurance that I pay for every month that doesn’t do crap.

If your head is spinning from the chaos of this post, imagine what it was like to live it. If it didn’t cost more than my weekly salary to cancel, I would switch service in a heartbeat. I already pay WAY too much for cell phone service as it is. I am so beyond frustrated. I am equally as frustrated that I acted this way over a cell phone. It is terribly sad how dependent I am, but I am not sure what to do about it. I hope you were able to get a few chuckles. Lord knows I wasn’t chuckling then. Thank you and goodnight. I have a phone to completely restore!

Oh, Baby! : The Beach

Bathing Beauty

Hello, friends! Summer is in full swing at this house. I am getting a taste of the "Stay-at-Home Mom" life. It is not just naps and picnics. Entertaining an eight month old twenty-four/seven is quite exhausting. We have to get out of the house at least once a day, or one of us goes crazy. A few weeks ago, we had a spur of the moment opportunity that I just couldn't turn down.

Our spot on Lake Weir (plus Gabe)

Lets talk about a wonderful place: the beach. And how it takes on a whole new adventure when you throw an infant in with it. Some families go to the beach every year. That was not a tradition in my house. Over the years, I have been to various beaches for various reasons: dance camps, mission trips, a few vacations, and a honeymoon. It has been three years since I have had my toes in the sand. My dear friend, Christy, was taking her family to Florida for their yearly vacation. Jokingly, I said I wanted to tag along while we were getting a pedicure the afternoon before she left. A few hours later she text me and said there was room in the family guesthouse, and that Haddie and I were welcome to join them. I have never been a person who makes rash decisions, so this was quite crazy. After securing a more reliable vehicle for the trip (thanks, Dad), I decided to go for it! We stayed on Lake Weir, and one day we drove to Ormond Beach for the day. It was nice to see the ocean, but I actually preferred the lake. It was private, there was definitely not a rip tide or waves, the water was warmer, and it was within walking distance of our accommodations. Haddie had a blast in the lake, not so much in the ocean. More on that later, now for the tips.

Last minute packing at its finest!

Tip #1: Avoid last minute packing when traveling with a baby. Obviously, I had no choice in this situation. Packing for a baby is stressful. They require so many things. My head was spinning. Amazingly, I managed to make it there and back with everything we needed and not forgetting anything. Next time, I will make a checklist and start a lot sooner. I think it was a little more difficult because I exclusively pump and prepare her baby food. In addition to all the usual baby items, I had to have a cooler to transport the expressed milk and baby food cubes. Also, pumping on the road is ridiculous. Hiding out in parking lots and pumping as we were riding down the interstate (I was not driving) is no fun. I love Haddie and would do anything for her, but I will rejoice from the hilltops when I can throw that pump out the window! Trust me, I have a countdown.

Tired girl after a day at Ormond Beach

Tip #2: Plan driving times around sleep schedules. This is just my opinion. It worked for us. We chose to leave out in the middle of the night. Haddie isn't the best rider, so her being asleep was perfect! If she had been awake during the day, I have a feeling that 8 hour trip would have not been so smooth. I know some might not be comfortable driving all night, but for this sleep-deprived, night owl of a Mom, it went well. The ride home was a little harder because there wasn't the excitement of getting to the beach and I was worn out from the trip.

"Sand is delicious, Mom"

Tip #3: Pack the Baby Powder. I am sure we all have seen the pin on Pinterest about baby powder taking off sand. I loathe sand. Loathe. It gets EVERYWHERE. I hate how it feels on me. It drove me insane seeing it all over Haddie. She didn't seem to mind. She even tasted it. Sounds like I love the beach, right? When it was time to dry off and go in. We tested it out. Amazing! While on the beach, I laid her in the stroller, striped her down, coated her with baby powder, and wiped it away. Boom! I am not sure if it matters, but I use the cornstarch variety and not talc. It definitely made the sand (slightly) more tolerable.

The only acceptable nudist on the beach

Tip #4: Take a baby pool and umbrella. I wasn't fond of the idea of Haddie being in direct sunlight for extended periods of time, even with sunscreen. So, an umbrella or canopy was a must for me. I had remembered a pin on Pinterest in the mad rush of packing and decided to throw her mini blow-up pool in pile to take with us. Best decision ever. The day we visited the ocean, she was not a fan of the waves. She hid her face and cried when they came at her while I was holding her, and she was in complete panic when I tried to put her down in the water. So, I filled up her pool with a little ocean water and plopped her down under the umbrella. She was happy as a peacock. Well, for as long an eight month can be with one thing. I was able to lay out beside her while she played. Score. Thanks to the pool she was able to stay cool and enjoy the water without me having to hold her constantly.

Those are the four biggest things that made our trip run quite smoothly. I actually had a blast! Haddie was a superstar the whole time. I was afraid that the change in scenery and activities would completely throw off her schedule, but she took it all in stride. It is definitely a whole new experience to vacation with a baby. It is no longer grab a towel and go to the beach. Now it involves planning for every possible scenario: Where can I heat a bottle? What if she needs a nap? Do I have enough of this and that? In my case, I also had to work in enough pumping sessions and how to store it until I could get it in the fridge. With a little planning and preparation, vacationing on the water with a baby can be quite enjoyable. I am very glad that I took that leap! It was a much needed get away.

Haddie will be NINE MONTHS OLD in a few days. I plan on doing a quick update on her new milestones. She is growing and changing so fast. Bittersweet. Of course, her birthday party prep is in full swing! To close out this post, here are a few of my favorite snapshots  from the trip:

Race Car in the lake

Trying watermelon

Love this chunk!

Last sunset of the trip

It's OK

It's OK. Just keep telling your self that because really it is. I am not sure if it is because we had our End of the Year Celebration for Pre-K today, or if it is just because the year is winding down, but I am feeling nostalgic. That seems to happen a lot lately. I have had so many comments about Haddie and how she has grown. When I see others holding her or look at pictures, I see it too. Even though when I hold her and I feel that my little chunker has grown, she is still just my itty bitty. Thinking back also reminds me of the realization I had not too long ago.

These last few months have shown me that life isn't always the perfect scenario that you dreamed of. I already knew that, but I can say that I have actually lived it. And you know what? I am going to be OK.  I haven't blogged about her 6 or 7 Month Updates. And you know what? It's OK. When it comes to Haddie, I had always envisioned being the Mom that is up to her eyeballs in DIY crafts and keepsakes. Hairbows for every outfit. Holiday décor and goodies for every occasion. Pictures and notes of each tiny milestone. Never a hair out of place. Blogs about each fabulous weekend and outing complete with pictures and video. Obviously, that is not a reality for me. And you know what? It's OK. I will say that I do still envy those that are capable of such. At first, I had a real guilt trip about it. It didn’t help to constantly read other blogs that included Easter Eggs with color coordinated fruit pieces inside for breakfast while I have poor Haddie's bottle propped up with her in a bouncer so I can pump and we can make it out the door in time for school. But you know what? It is OK. She is a happy and healthy little girl with an amazing little personality. She doesn't care that she doesn't have a hairbow for each outfit (yet), or that I haven't blogged about the new foods that she tried (and hated) last month. She just knows that I love her and I take care of her. And that is all that matters.

This brings me to another realization that I have had. Maybe it is because of the search engines, countless Birth Club boards, hundreds of social media friends and outlets, etc., but I feel that there is a lot of hostility and judgment in the “Circle of Mothers” these days. I am not sure if it is because I am a Mom now and I actually pay attention, but I think there is a lot more pressure to do things “this way” and “never that way.” It seems like instead of sharing thoughts, opinions, beliefs in a constructive and helpful way, we blast others who do not agree, see, or share those same ways. I try to be open minded and respectful of others, but I have seen some people say hateful and cruel things to someone (they don't even know) over something as silly as a picture on Instagram. Come on, ladies. We are all in this together. I think I can safely say that most mother's only want the best for their children. We can't know circumstances or reasoning for each choice that is made. I try not to take a “holier than thou” outlook on things and share what little knowledge and advice I can give all while trying to be open and respectful of others. Because after all, I am just trying to figure it all out myself. And you know what? It is OK. I guess I will step down off my soap box now. I just needed to vent a little evidently. I didn't mean to run off on a tangent.

I suppose since I managed to log on to this blog, I can do a little update on my pride and joy.

Haddie is now a little over 26 inches long and weighs about 18 pounds. Mama is still pumping away and making baby food. It is definitely time consuming, but she is worth it. It also doesn't hurt that it is a heck of a lot cheaper! She is doing well with solids. She now eats green beans, peas, pears, and apples. She still despises sweet potatoes and is not thrilled with bananas or plums. We have tried apple juice and Puffs. Neither of which she cared for. She enjoys picking up the Puffs, but could care less about ingesting them. She has one and a half teeth. The second is just kind of hanging out at the gum line. She can sit up like a pro and rolls from one end of the room to the other. She doesn't seem interested in crawling, but gets frustrated that she isn't mobile on occasion. She is no longer in the “bucket” and is now rear-facing in her big girl convertible car seat. She loves paper. She has walker that she only moves backwards in and tried out her pool for the first time last weekend. She had tubes put in her ears at the beginning of April, but she is still bothered with them. Hopefully, we can figure out a solution for her soon. She can say “da-da” and “bye-bye”. She wont say “ma-ma” unless she is whining or crying. She loves to pat things and touch them with only her pointer finger. She continues to learn and amaze me each day. I guess it is the teacher in me, but I am constantly assessing and comparing her to others in her age group. She is not a step ahead of everyone. But you know what? It is OK.

This school year is wrapping up. It will be one I will never forget. Not just because of the special kiddos I had the pleasure of spending my days with, but because my life change so drastically during this year. I am more than ready to spend my Summer with my sweet girl! Not sure when the next post will take place. But you know what? It is OK!

And now for a giant photo dump of Haddie. Sorry, I have some lost time to make up for.....

Spring Cleaning

Spring is in the air, Friends! I can feel it. I am so ready for warm weather. I despise the cold. However, I was ready to see Summer go last year. I was a whale and suffering in the heat, and also awaiting the arrival of Fall to meet my Haddie. Most people do a little Spring Cleaning this time of year, and I plan to join them.

You may have noticed the blog got a little face lift. Life in general has gotten a face lift. My goal in the next few weeks is to de-clutter. This has been on the agenda for quite some time now. I plan to make it a reality. I need some organization in my life. Haddie is an angel, so I can't use her as an excuse for the chaos, clutter, and disorganization. I want these next few months to clean house, literally. Once Summer Break arrives, I plan on enjoying every minute with my #1 Girl!

I didn't plan on neglecting the blog. Just haven't had much to say. Anyone have any suggestions or requests for blog topics? Haddie's Five Month Update is coming up in just a few days. We have some new firsts that are pretty exciting, and some not so fun things in our future.

Thanks for stopping by and stay tuned for Month Five's details. Enjoy a photo dump of Haddie Bug!

365 Days

Hello, Friends. I seemed to have lost my "blogging mojo." I have a couple halfway finished posts in the draft stage, but I just haven't had the desire to finish them. One, in particular, is about our routine, and how life has settled into a major one. I blame this as the main reason why I have fallen off the blogging wagon. In said routine, there just really isn't any extra time to blog. Well, there is, but I choose to do other things. More on that when I finish the post. If, I finish the post. However, today is a special day. So, a special blog is in order.



Exactly 365 days ago today, I discovered that a special someone was on the way. You can read my blog from that day here. I could never have imagined how much my life would change in these past 365 days. So many experiences, discoveries, lessons, and realizations have happened. What a difference a year makes.

I remember this day last year like it was yesterday. A last minute decision to take a pregnancy test before Zumba. After many negatives, I just knew this was going to be yet another. Then, I saw that tiny second line. Who knew a little line could mean so much. I surely didn't at the time. No one could have prepared me for the emotions and bond that I started making from that moment.

I was beyond blessed to have such an easy pregnancy and an incredibly easy labor and delivery. Who knew I could be even more blessed with such a sweet, laid back little girl who is already so full of personality. She melts my heart!

I hope to find some inspiration to keep blogging. Being working Mama is hard job, but Haddie makes every second of my life worthwhile. I think I will keep her.

Riddle Me This....

What do a mozzarella cheese stick, two hard boiled eggs, a tablespoon of peanut butter, and a glass of vitamin D & calcium enriched pulp free orange juice have in common? Stay tuned for the answer.....

Motivation

Motivation - The general desire or willingness of someone to do something.

I have little. I'm not sure why, but I have been a terrible "funk" since Thanksgiving. I think a combination of stress, disappointment, and exhaustion has just beaten me down. I was anxious for the Holidays to lift my spirits, but this year's festivities were not as jolly as I had hoped.

My goals for this year are to get in shape and get every aspect of my life organized. I know it is still the first month of 2012 (barely), but I am an "instant-results" kind of girl. Although, I must say that my health goal is actually going well. 1.5 weeks = 6lbs lighter, and I am honestly enjoying my diet! I have had some cheat days, but a girls gotta have something good every once and a while. I can't say so much for the organizational part. I want to establish routine and order for everything. Work. Budget. Meals. Household Chores. I haven't made any progress in these areas. I want so badly to be the organized, sane, woman who has everything together. And even if it kills me, I will get there. Some day.

I am sorry that I left you loyal readers hanging. Must have been my lack of motivation. I am trying to get my act together. I think I am just so overwhelmed, that instead of taking care of business, I am sitting and dwelling on every piece of the puzzle. Ed told to me to take it one step at a time, and he is right. I know I can do this; I don't even have children running around to add to the choas. God Bless those women who do and are still on top of it! You are a super heroes!

Today's post is just a quickie to let everyone know that I am still alive. I will leave you with some great words of wisdom that I am using to improve my outlook and attitude. I found this quote the other day, and it really stood out to me. I need to apply this a little more....