It's OK

It's OK. Just keep telling your self that because really it is. I am not sure if it is because we had our End of the Year Celebration for Pre-K today, or if it is just because the year is winding down, but I am feeling nostalgic. That seems to happen a lot lately. I have had so many comments about Haddie and how she has grown. When I see others holding her or look at pictures, I see it too. Even though when I hold her and I feel that my little chunker has grown, she is still just my itty bitty. Thinking back also reminds me of the realization I had not too long ago.

These last few months have shown me that life isn't always the perfect scenario that you dreamed of. I already knew that, but I can say that I have actually lived it. And you know what? I am going to be OK.  I haven't blogged about her 6 or 7 Month Updates. And you know what? It's OK. When it comes to Haddie, I had always envisioned being the Mom that is up to her eyeballs in DIY crafts and keepsakes. Hairbows for every outfit. Holiday décor and goodies for every occasion. Pictures and notes of each tiny milestone. Never a hair out of place. Blogs about each fabulous weekend and outing complete with pictures and video. Obviously, that is not a reality for me. And you know what? It's OK. I will say that I do still envy those that are capable of such. At first, I had a real guilt trip about it. It didn’t help to constantly read other blogs that included Easter Eggs with color coordinated fruit pieces inside for breakfast while I have poor Haddie's bottle propped up with her in a bouncer so I can pump and we can make it out the door in time for school. But you know what? It is OK. She is a happy and healthy little girl with an amazing little personality. She doesn't care that she doesn't have a hairbow for each outfit (yet), or that I haven't blogged about the new foods that she tried (and hated) last month. She just knows that I love her and I take care of her. And that is all that matters.

This brings me to another realization that I have had. Maybe it is because of the search engines, countless Birth Club boards, hundreds of social media friends and outlets, etc., but I feel that there is a lot of hostility and judgment in the “Circle of Mothers” these days. I am not sure if it is because I am a Mom now and I actually pay attention, but I think there is a lot more pressure to do things “this way” and “never that way.” It seems like instead of sharing thoughts, opinions, beliefs in a constructive and helpful way, we blast others who do not agree, see, or share those same ways. I try to be open minded and respectful of others, but I have seen some people say hateful and cruel things to someone (they don't even know) over something as silly as a picture on Instagram. Come on, ladies. We are all in this together. I think I can safely say that most mother's only want the best for their children. We can't know circumstances or reasoning for each choice that is made. I try not to take a “holier than thou” outlook on things and share what little knowledge and advice I can give all while trying to be open and respectful of others. Because after all, I am just trying to figure it all out myself. And you know what? It is OK. I guess I will step down off my soap box now. I just needed to vent a little evidently. I didn't mean to run off on a tangent.

I suppose since I managed to log on to this blog, I can do a little update on my pride and joy.

Haddie is now a little over 26 inches long and weighs about 18 pounds. Mama is still pumping away and making baby food. It is definitely time consuming, but she is worth it. It also doesn't hurt that it is a heck of a lot cheaper! She is doing well with solids. She now eats green beans, peas, pears, and apples. She still despises sweet potatoes and is not thrilled with bananas or plums. We have tried apple juice and Puffs. Neither of which she cared for. She enjoys picking up the Puffs, but could care less about ingesting them. She has one and a half teeth. The second is just kind of hanging out at the gum line. She can sit up like a pro and rolls from one end of the room to the other. She doesn't seem interested in crawling, but gets frustrated that she isn't mobile on occasion. She is no longer in the “bucket” and is now rear-facing in her big girl convertible car seat. She loves paper. She has walker that she only moves backwards in and tried out her pool for the first time last weekend. She had tubes put in her ears at the beginning of April, but she is still bothered with them. Hopefully, we can figure out a solution for her soon. She can say “da-da” and “bye-bye”. She wont say “ma-ma” unless she is whining or crying. She loves to pat things and touch them with only her pointer finger. She continues to learn and amaze me each day. I guess it is the teacher in me, but I am constantly assessing and comparing her to others in her age group. She is not a step ahead of everyone. But you know what? It is OK.

This school year is wrapping up. It will be one I will never forget. Not just because of the special kiddos I had the pleasure of spending my days with, but because my life change so drastically during this year. I am more than ready to spend my Summer with my sweet girl! Not sure when the next post will take place. But you know what? It is OK!

And now for a giant photo dump of Haddie. Sorry, I have some lost time to make up for.....