Cell Phones and Curse Words

If you are a friend on Facebook, you probably saw my post about my fabulous Saturday. My phone randomly stopped functioning at around 3 o'clock for about five hours. I lost my marbles complete with fits of rage and crying during this five hour window. I am slightly ashamed that I got so upset over this small rectangle of technology. I forget how dependent on it I am until it no longer functions. I will share with you the events of today because I need to vent and someone probably needs a laugh. Have one at my expense......

Let me do some background.

Part One: I moved in March. Instead of changing my address fifty bagilllion times, I thought it would be easier to fill out a forwarding address packet at the post office.

Part Two: Back in May, I (Haddie) dropped my phone. Twice. Without my Otter Box case. I refused to pay the insurance deductible at the time and just dealt with a cracked screen. A few weeks ago, I decided that I would bite the bullet and pay the $100 in order to get a new phone. I proceeded to file my claim online. When asked about the date of the incident, I answered honestly. In other words, I did the right thing. Well, that got me nowhere. Because it happened over sixty days ago, I could no longer file a claim. Fabulous. I guess it is a cracked phone for another year and a half.

Part Three: When trying to pay my phone bill over the phone Friday, I kept being rejected by the system. The billing zip code that I was entering was not matching. Keep in mind I moved back in March. Have made payments since then. Obviously. And, I have been receiving bills at my new address. I was transferred to someone who told me they have a completely different address in the system. Must be because I used the forwarding address packet? Regardless, he changed the address in the system. Problem solved. Right?

Can you tell this is shaping up to be fabulous?

Now, we come to this glorious Saturday. Ed was at the Verizon store using the upgrade on the account. We take turns using the upgrades. This time it was my number, but I got the last one. So, it was his turn. Yes, we still share an account. I’m just nice like that. At around 3, my phone lost the 4G signal. I figured it had to do with Ed and the upgrade. I didn’t think too much about it. After about 30 minutes, it was still not working. I was starting to get antsy. I needed to check Facebook and Instagram! Lol. I text Ed to ask him if whatever they were doing was supposed to be messing with my service. My text wouldn’t go through. I tried to send it a couple more times. I still had not gotten my 4G signal back. So, I tried turning my data off and back on. Switching from airplane mode. And restarting my phone. Nothing worked.

Then I tried to call Ed to see what was going on. It rang and then said I was being transferred to an external operator to place a collect call. What?! At this point, I decide it was time to call Verizon. Luckily, I could dial *611 and get in touch with some one.

Call #1: I explained that my estranged husband (Gosh, I hate that term!) was upgrading his phone on the account but using my phone line's upgrade. And then I explained what is going on. He told me to try restarting my phone. He said he was going to reset some things and it should work when I turned it back on. Hang up. Power off. Power on. Nope.

Call #2: I had to explain the situation again. He told me to try a soft reset. He also said that it would be easier if I had access to another phone line. That way I could troubleshoot and talk at the same time. But first, I should try the soft reset. I hung up and took off the battery. Waited a few minutes and turned it back on. Nope.

At this point, I was getting agitated. I packed up Haddie and headed to Christy's house to use her phone. No makeup. No hair-do. Pajamas. It didn't matter. I was just going to Christy's.

Call #3: I explained the situation. AGAIN. This time I am told that I need to do a factory reset. If that didn't work, then I have a warranty issue. I asked if a warranty would require a deductible. The answer was no. Sweet! She told me to back everything up using the Backup Assistant. No problem, except that I can't because I have no data service. I decided that if I got a new phone it would be worth a little hassle of retrieving contacts and music. Also, most of the pictures and video were on Facebook and Instagram. So, I was willing to try it. I reset it. Still didn't work. I decided to run to Verizon to get it taken care of. Guess I should have worn clothes and put on makeup....

I got to Verizon and started to explain what I had already been through. Before I could finish, the Verizon guy told me that my warranty is void because my screen is cracked. WHAT?! He said that I would have to file an insurance claim. I told him that I had tried already but was rejected because it was over 60 days. He said that was not the case and that I could definitely file the claim.

So, they sat me down in a corner and gave me the handset to call and get the claim started. For security, I was asked to verify my address. Can you guess where this is going? I told her my address. It didn't match what they have. I listed the last three addresses that I have lived at in the past ten years. None matched. She then told me that they have an address from Indianapolis listed. Um, no. She says that she will have to transfer me to Verizon and have them update my address. I thought I already had. Whatever. Once I am transferred, it is an automated system. The “machine” is wanting me to say my address. Well, that didn't work so well in the middle of a Verizon store while holding a 10 month old. “I'm sorry, I didn't get that. Try again. I'm sorry, I didn’t get that. Try again.” I slammed the phone down and marched up to the desk. I asked if I could do this from home. He said yes and cheerfully held the door for me on my way out. It didn’t help, sir.

At this point, Haddie has had no nap. No supper. And I desperately need to pump. I head to my Dad's house to use his computer and landline. I start with the insurance claim. Because I had previously tried to file, it keeps pulling up my first attempt. I cannot get anywhere online, so I looked up the phone number. Before I called, I logged on to Verizon to check the address they have and to change it so that I don’t run in to that problem again. Lo and behold, they have the correct address! But I did notice something off. They had listed Ed's new phone by his number, but they also listed the same phone by my number. That is not the phone I have. I shrugged it off and proceeded to call the insurance company.

Once again, I argued with them about my address. They finally put me on hold twice and then allowed me to proceed. I told him a quick version of the he-said, she-said run around I had already been given. He confirmed my worst fear. They will not allow a claim because the phone was cracked over 60 days. The Verizon guy was a fibber. I hang up.

At this point, I am in tears. I am standing by the pantry on the phone because Dad doesn’t have a cordless phone. Haddie is crawling up my legs because she is hungry. I resorted to throwing cheerios in the floor for her to eat while I call Verizon to give them a piece of my mind.

I called Verizon and explained my situation for the 10 quadrillionth time. I am transferred twice. In the process, I remembered seeing the wrong phone attached to my number and decided that is the last option of hope as to why my phone just decided to quit functioning. I told the guy what I saw and what I thought may have happened. He said he would change some things in the system and that I should try to restart my phone again.

PRAISE SWEET BABY JESUS! It worked. And guess what? I told them how to fix it! Does anyone see what is wrong there?

So basically, I spent my Saturday afternoon crying, cussing, and fighting with these people. Reset my phone. Lost everything. For nothing. Because the ding dong who sold Ed his new phone didn’t know what he was doing. And guess what else? I’m canceling that insurance that I pay for every month that doesn’t do crap.

If your head is spinning from the chaos of this post, imagine what it was like to live it. If it didn’t cost more than my weekly salary to cancel, I would switch service in a heartbeat. I already pay WAY too much for cell phone service as it is. I am so beyond frustrated. I am equally as frustrated that I acted this way over a cell phone. It is terribly sad how dependent I am, but I am not sure what to do about it. I hope you were able to get a few chuckles. Lord knows I wasn’t chuckling then. Thank you and goodnight. I have a phone to completely restore!