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| Baby Ballerinas 2005 |
Hold the phone! This post has nothing to do with being a Mama or a tutorial! Almost.
If you have any access to social media, most likely you know what #tbt means. Normally, it causes giggles, maybe some blushing, and sweet memories. But lately, it has caused a little bit of another feeling for me: regret.
I have always been a little shy, a little introverted, and a little socially awkward. Teaching is a strange profession for someone with those qualities, but I feel like I have become a stronger person from it. Definitely still room to grow.
Dance was a passion of mine from a very young age. All the shyness melted away when I preformed. When I was in 8th grade, I saw a group of beautiful dancers at a college in Alabama. It became my dream to be a part of the group. I busted my butt to do well in school, get accepted to college, and make that dream a reality. And I did it!
Life has a funny way of changing "your plans." I couldn't wait to graduate and leave my small town in the dust. I was going to go away and have the time of my life at college.
Here is where the regret comes in. I did none of that. I got to preform with those beautiful girls for two great seasons. But I did not take full advantage of the experiences and friendships that were right in front of me. Instead, I spent my time making excuses and justifying that it was OK. I went to classes, practices, and other obligations. But I skipped out on the fun. I had so many opportunities to make stronger relationships, new relationships, memories, and reach bigger goals that I had ambitiously set.
I don't have tons of pictures from mixers, parties, or trips with friends. I did not try out for additional performance groups. I didn't make many new friends. Seeing throwback photos from friends are reminders of that. I am sure some people knew why or at least had a pretty good idea about why I acted that way. Some probably just thought I was stuck up and/or a hermit. That is what hurts the most. I didn't get to know them and they didn't get to know the real me.
It is not important as to what or who caused me to make the choices I made. It happened. I can't change the past. All decisions and choices have lead me to where I am today. And I know if things had been different, I would not be in the place I am now. But I did learn a very important lesson.
Here is where the Mama comes in. I want to make sure that Haddie knows not to make the same mistakes. No one or nothing should stand in the way of her goals and dreams. I know that in many, many, many, many moons from now, she will roll her eyes and huff like all girls do when Mom gives advice. But I am gonna say it again and again. Don't let someone else stand in the way of what and who you want to be. That goes for anyone.
I don't want to dwell on the past. And I am making no plans to go crazy and sow my wild oats at almost 30. But it does feel good to get my feelings out and on "paper." I can't wait for football season to start and get the chance to see the newest generation of Southerners and Ballerinas. I am thankful that I got to be a part of such a great organization!
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| Band Camp JSU 2005 |
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