Monday, February 27, 2012

First Doctor's Appointment

*This post is from February 13th, 2012.*

Today we had our first prenatal appointment.

I have been a nervous wreck all day. Who am I kidding? I have been a nervous wreck since we found out we were pregnant. I know stress is not a good thing, but I cant help it. Thanks to several community boards and forums, I knew a little about what to expect today. Going in to the appointment, I knew that the ultrasound would not show anything that resembled a human, not even close. No heartbeat. I was expecting only a small black dot.

After waiting all day, 1:30 finally rolls around. Ed meets me at work and we head to the doctor's office together. As usual, there are a few people ahead of us, and they are running behind. I think the receptionist had called-in or something. We filled out paperwork, and then completed the 100 question complete family history of every bump and bruise known to our family. While we were in the lab room, I heard the ultrasound and heartbeat of the other new girl's baby from the waiting room. She was about three weeks ahead of me. Being the nosey person I am, I also snuck a peek at her souvenier photos from the ultrasound as she walked by. Instant jealousy.

After questions are done, the midwife sends us back to the waiting room until an exam room is open. After a few minutes, we finally get a room. To add salt to the wound, "girl from the waiting room's" ultrasound shot is still up on the machine. After waiting for what seems like hours, the ultrasound finally begins. The midwife instantly comments on the fullness of my bladder. I knew that I would most likely need to give a urine sample, so I had been holding it. During the confusion, they had forgotten to get my sample. She stops and peeks out the door. At this point, I am the only patient left in the building. She says the coast is clear if I want to make a run for it. I have to admit, it was slightly exhilarating to run through the halls of the doctor's office naked from the waist down.

Once the bladder is out of the picture, there isn't much to see. Nothing, actually. Immediately, my heart starts beating faster. I know that it is common to see a gestational sac at this point. I am supposed to be 5 weeks. Instead, nothing. She says that I could still just be a little early. Then we move back to the lab room for my favorite part. Bloodwork. She draws about five vials of blood, which takes about five minutes. Apparently, my blood was much happier in my body. The urine sample pregnancy test comes back poisitive, but still very faint. At this point, I am getting really nervous. She orders some extra tests to be done to check different hormone levels. And we are instructed to call in the morning for the bloodwork results. This will determine our next step: either back in 48 hours for another round of bloodwork to compare or wait another two weeks for a second ultrasound.

I left the office without the only thing I really wanted: Assurance. No photo. No next appointment. Just a bag of samples and information, that I may not even need. I have done some research on early HCG levels, ultrasounds, and early prenatal visits. In some cases it looks bleak and hopeless, but then on the next visit, there is a tiny, bouncing baby and a heartbeat. So, postive thoughts and prayers are all we can do at this point. I am hoping that in two weeks, I can look back at this time and laugh about how stressed and silly I was acting. I have had some positive encouragment from family, close friends, and members of the forums who have been in the same boat. I know that everything happens for a reason, and no matter what it was all part of a bigger plan. Sometimes, that just isn't how you planned it.    

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