Our First Week with Haddie

Hadley Jo arrived on October 17th, 2012 at 7:14 in the morning. She weighed 6 pounds and 12 ounces and was 20 inches long. Her Birth Story is simple and perfect. I will be working on that post in the next few days, Haddie permitting. This week has been one of the hardest and greatest weeks of my life! I just wanted to share some of the thoughts and experiences we have had while welcoming Hadley into our life.

First of all, no one could have prepared me for the emotions that I have felt since Haddie was born. Instantly. The first two days were a blur of awe and amazement at the perfect little girl that we were blessed with, and then I turned into a basket case. I would cry at anything relating to her. Anything. If she cried, I cried. When I would talk about her, I would cry. When I saw pictures of her, I would cry. I guess it was a mixture of extreme love, hormones and sleep deprivation. It was the strangest thing. I wasn't sad at all, but the tears just kept flowing. I cried the whole way home from the hospital and up until yesterday.

Once we were home from the hospital, the tears were more of fear. Fear that I wasn't doing something right. I had worked in a nursery for a few years and was/am very comfortable with small babies. Before she was born, I felt extremely confident that I could handle it. When I got home, I began to second guess my self. We had some feeding issues (more on that in a moment), and I was terrified that she was not getting enough to eat. That absolutely broke my heart. Then, Monday afternoon, something clicked. Since then, I haven't shed a tear! Now that I have calmed down, I have truly been able to enjoy having our baby girl at home. I am loving every second!

I mentioned earlier that we had some feeding issues. From the beginning I knew that I wanted to give Hadley the best. Breastmilk. I was unsure about nursing. As some of you know, I had a breast augmentation in 2008. I wasn't sure if breastfeeding would even be an option. As a result of the the surgery, I have also had some sensitivity issues. I was hoping that this combination would not hinder me from feeding Hadley.

Immediately after birth, we tried to get her to latch. She had some issues, but before she was taken to the Nursery, I thought we had successfully done it. Once she was back, we tried again and again. As you know, there isn't much to feed the first few days. Baby's stomach is adapting and no "milk" has come in. The times that she tried to nurse, she would latch (I thought), and then instantly release or fall asleep. The nurses just kept telling me try and try again. Once it was clear she wasn't going to catch on immediately, they brought in a pump. I would try to nurse each time, and then wind up pumping. The day we left the hospital, she seemed to be doing better, and we were confident enough to go home.

Once home, she was having very few wet diapers. She wasn't sleeping, was constantly sucking on her hands seemed uneasy. I knew she was hungry. She continued to attempt to latch and then release. I tried every feeding position I could find. Even the completely ridiculous ones. I finally broke out my pump and started pumping. Suprisingly, I was able to pump quite a bit. So, luckily, the augmentation did not affect my ability to produce milk. I was glad I could provide milk, but I felt like a machine. I had to pump, feed, and wash. Every two hours. Because we left the hospital "breastfeeding," I had no clue as to how much she needed per bottle. I researched around a little and decided 2 ounces was a good place to start. Hadley had no issues with the bottles. She would take most of it, but would slow down at around 1.5 ounces. I am not sure why, but she still didn't seemed to be quite satisfied. We were still getting little to no sleep. Every time she would whimper, I would go and heat another ounce. I couldn't stand the thoughts of her being hungry. And, I was afraid that I was not going to be able to pump enough for her.

On Monday, we had our first Doctor visit. She had gained back some weight, but I could tell the pediatrician would have liked to see a little more. I told her about the issues I was having. She suggested that I pump a small amount prior to nursing. So, once we got home, I tried it out. It didn't help. Another issue I was having were Haddie's hands. They are constantly by her face. Nursing was no exception. I wanted to swaddle her hands down, but everything I had read or been told contradicted this. I decided it was worth a shot. Instantly, she latched. Correctly. It was like the doors of Heaven opened and the angles sang. I was so excited! Once she finished, she slept for five hours. Up until that point, an hour and a half was the most she would rest.

I am no lactation consultant, but I think the problem was her hands were distracting her and she wanted instant food. She was not latching long enough to get things "flowing." Now, we swaddle and I do a few compressions before feeding. We have to latch and re-latch a few times, but she is eating like a champ! Momma is much happier! So, my advice is: "Don't give up!" I love how easy it is to nurse. No bottles to wash or pack on outings. I am so glad to have had so many encourage me to keep trying. You just have to find what works for you.

And now for two things that we couldn't do without: the BabyESP App and receiving blankets. I absolutely love the BabyESP App! There are so many things to keep up with. Diapers. Last feeding. How long have they been asleep. There is no way I could keep that all in my head. I tried writing it down, but the pen or paper was never handy. I downloaded the App and have used it ever since. I HIGHLY suggest using this with a new baby. Once we get a routine going, I probably won't rely on it so much. But as of now, it is a total lifesaver. My favorite part is the Statistics feature. It tells how many daily pee and poo diapers, nursing sessions lengths and averages, and sleep totals. Instant info. Receiving blankets are another Godsend. They have so many uses: Swaddling, Car Seat Covering, Couch Protectors (they have saved the couch during diaper changes three times already), etc. You can't have too many!

I hope you enjoyed reading about some of the highs and lows of our first week! I can't help but stare at our perfect miracle and think of how blessed we are to call her ours! I always knew that I would love motherhood, but I never knew there would be no words to describe how great it is. Please check back for her Birth Story!